Even if I didn’t think that practicing fighting is massively beneficial in various character-building ways (which is a subject for another post) and would still be a good idea if we loved in some sort of utopian Iain M. Banks society, we don’t. It would be nice if you were sure that nobody would ever hit you without your permission, and I think we can all agree that the people who do are dicks, and hopefully the law will send them to jail – but that doesn’t do much good when it actually happens. It certainly won’t get you your brain cells, teeth or life back.

EDIT ALSO: I’ve had a few people email responses to this that consisted of ‘Jiu-jitsu isn’t much use in a bar fight.’ To that I would say: stop going to the sort of bars where fights happen. This piece was repurposed from something I originally wrote for a fairly lady-centric blog, and the point is not being able to Van Damme somebody when they accuse you of looking at their girlfriend – it’s that you need a worst-case scenario option for times when someone tries to drag you into a van, or hurt somebody you care about, or worse.

I don’t owe it to myself or to anyone else to know how to fight. The aggressive twat who’s going to kick my arse owes it to me NOT to kick my arse. And his dad (or whoever) owes it to him not to knock him around, or abandon him, or fail to hug him enough, or do whatever it was that taught him rage-filled assault is the way to deal with his sense of inadequacy. Violence, even in self-defence, isn’t an answer to anything.

Besides, I’m with Louis C.K. There are three things I’m too old to start doing: fighting, blowing guys, and skiing.